Dotty

Now upon reflection, I can appreciates my Mom's funeral service a bit more. Actually, the pastor did capture her essence very well. She was unique, to say the least, and very tough. Now I can understand that her underlying fears were her motivations. She was overprotective of her sons (Randy and me) for fear something would happen to them. We were, in many ways, her life. She fought a good fight, raised us well and never quit loving or trying to protect us. If I wanted to point to a fault in my Mom, I would say that I always thought she was over-reactive, tending to get super-angry in situations that I felt didn't call for it. But, I see now how that is just another manifestation of her underlying fears. She lost her own Mother when she was only 13 and her Dad was actually very mean to her after that (and maybe before). She was raised mostly by her older sister, and in turn, helped raise her younger sister. So, in essence, she was always on edge and felt as if she had to be super tough as a big sister and later as a single Mother. She did a great job, as we never wanted for anything we needed, always had a nice home and all the support we needed.

I remember one of several occasions where Dotty held folks at bay with one of her many rifles. We lived up a "holler" (the last house) and the last .2 mi of road was actually our own driveway. Well, a car load of apparently drunk young men happened to get lost or somehow find their way to our drive. Instead of stopping to turn before entering, they came on up and wanted to turn around in our yard... well, Dotty would have none of that, so she grabs a 22-Magnum rifle, scope and all, and runs out onto our porch, brings the rifle to bear on the driver and kept it there until the car had backed all the way out of our drive and out of sight! I don't think I have ever seen anyone sober up as fast nor back up so straight and fast as that driver. Of course I was embarrassed, even though I didn't know the guys in the car, but now I can see this "Dottism" as part of how she lived life. Her reputation was one that folks knew well, and they knew that if you messed with Dotty or one of her sons, you would face her wrath. The other side of her was that of a kind, loving, caring woman who would help the less fortunate any way she could and never wanted any recognition for it. Dotty Gearheart Duncan was a complex woman, with a hard, harsh exterior and a big heart, motivated by fear to be very protective of what was hers.

Dotty will always be in my soul and will remain a motivating factor in my life.