Rainy Sunday

Man, we got more rain Saturday night and Sunday than we have in almost the whole time out here, save for Katrina and Rita! Sunday, my wife and daughter went shopping and I stayed in an watched the NFL playoffs, some golf and a bit of basketball! Made a pot of chili, had a few cold brews and really relaxed. The last few days since my B day have been hectic. Getting the insurance company to rent me a car, getting the car, getting stuff out of my truck, trying to find another truck and wondering just how much the insurance guy will offer me to total my truck! Well, I did have a great workout at the gym on Saturday while I watched UK win again (by luck!) I got to watch them win the night before my birthday and that was a nice present (and surprise, they really suck this year).

The Toyota Camry (sp?) we are renting is a really nice car with all the whistles and bells. I like the lumbar adjustment particularly well! I hope to find a decent pick up truck I can get, something in the 98,99,00 range. One thing about trucks in the south, they keep their re-sale value and they are really popular. I don't think I want an SUV, but that is an option. I just don't really like driving cars any more... they are so low and I like the increase vision that being up in a truck or SUV provides. I like being able to see over cars in front of me to see potential trouble from farther back.

With some of the money I got from my Mom's will (not very much), I went ahead and paid all my late and pending bills for the month! First time I have been up since we got here and it feels good! Of course, just as soon as I get a little bit ahead, something else comes along needing my money, like getting another car! The little bit from settlement on my truck will help, but I will have to put more with it to get anything recent and/or decent!

Anyway, my Panthers lost, so I guess I will cheer for the Steelers in the SuperBowl. I can't imagine it has come to that, but I just can see myself pulling for Seattle. My wife is a big Steelers fan (she likes the colors) and I do like the old fashion, smash mouth, style of football they play. If they could just get that one guy to cut his hair! It is hard for me to pull for a team with a linebacker that has hair down to his mid-back! If I were playing, I wouldn't be able to resist grabbing and handfuls of it and jerking the hell out of him! How can a real football player have hair longer than most women I know?

But, it is another day and age now and I guess this is just part of it, right?

Good day

The BIG WRECK!

Ouch! My 50th birthday and I have my second crash since I have been in Memphis (Aug 13th)!.. I drove that ol' 1993 Ford Ranger through thick and thin, since it was just a pup with 7 miles on it! Nary a wreck and the only dents were ones my wife and put on the door. But within two weeks after moving to Memphis, WRECK 1, then, on my birthday no less, I am driving out Union Ave, leaving Midtown and heading out to the burbs, when some fool cuts across in front of me to make a left hand turn... well, he didn't finish the turn... I plowed into the right front passenger side of the 2002 Mercury Marquis and put a quick stop to that turn! My poor truck, still running good but looking worse for the wear, now sat, broken, bumper hanging down, spilling fluids, head light busted out (I only had one light left from the previous wreck). Memphis Mania my butt, I need to change my blog to Memphis Maniacs! Now the first time, I hit a guy from behind, as he was stopped on a curve to turn left in heavy traffic and I didn't see him through weeds grown on the road side until too late... BAM... it had just rained and my front tires didn't grip and ... well, that hurt, but my truck still ran and with a new-used radiator, we hit the road again, minus the front grill and one headlight... my hood didn't exactly lay flat, but the sucker ran and we road... Now, it is all over for good. The insurance folks say it will most likely be totaled out, I given a measly check and I will have to finally part with the only truck I have ever owned! Dogs may be man's best friend, but I would have to rank a good truck right up there with dogs!
Since it was HIS FAULT, I am getting a free rental until they can decide how much to offer me on my truck, then I will have to find a replacement... "sob" .. how do you replace a truck that had carried you through hell and high water, for 13 years and over 400,000 miles? It is times like these that try men's souls....

I will pull through, no choice really, but it will be so strange not seeing that Dark Plum, beat up but beautiful Ford Ranger sitting in my garage, waiting patiently to carry me to work and back each day.... so long ol' trusted pal.. you might be gone, but never forgotten!

Strange day, that 50th birthday, with a terrible ending.... I was fine, but a part of me still died on 01/18/2006.....


Good day

The BIG 50!

Gosh, I made it to 50! The last 20 years have really gone by eh? I just got out of my Ph.D. program at 31, a post-doc later, I begin my career as a college prof at the ripe young age of 33. That was also about 40 lbs ago! Wow, 2 lbs per year! I have tried to stay in shape, but the ol' metabolism bug grabs you and makes it even tougher to keep the lbs off. But, I still eat healthy, exercise 4-5 times a week, lift weights 2x/wk, so I hope that I have at least 40 more years left! I always thought that if I made it into my 90's, it might be time to move on to higher ground! Based on an analysis I did on-line, relating to my health, lifestyle, current weight and my parents age and health, I will make it only to 81 yrs! That gives me 31 more to try to figure out this thing called life! Just kidding, I got that figured out. It is women I don't get! Ha, just kidding again, got them figured out too.

Waking up at 50, I access my life and find that other than a really stupid mistake I made in my 40's the hurt my family and got me deep in debt and the loss of my Mom, I have a pretty good life. I have a wonderful wife and daughter and my son is turning into an outstanding young man (15 yr old), I have a great position as a full prof doing what I enjoy doing, I have my health and I have re-devoted myself to Jesus Christ. Of course it would be nice to not have this debt, but, thanks to the Grace of God, my family has a nice home, we have plenty of food and we can pay our bills. So, at 50, it could be a lot worse and I want to make what time I have left, be it 31 or 40 yrs, count for as much as I can.

Here hoping that everyone either sees their 50th or their 90th in good health and in good stead with the Lord.

Good day.

Snoooooow? Noooooooo!

The weather folks in Memphis are so excited today! Rain, dropping temps and a chance of flurries this afternoon! Wow. The weather has been almost perfect in Memphis since we moved here, so the weather nerds have not had much to get excited about, other that Katrina and then Rita moving through. But let a front move through that might dump some snow on the capital of the "mid south" and the 'nerds de weather' jump all over it! The morning commute was rainy, which of course caused hundreds of more accidents, so I can't imagine the evening commute if snow begins to come down. I am getting out of dodge this afternoon by 2:30 or so and miss all the potential fun!

MLK Day passed and it seems that more and more folks are respecting the work and leadership of Dr. King. As a father of a mixed daughter and the husband of an African-American, I can relate maybe more so than most middle aged white males to the trials and tribulations African-Americans have had to overcome. With the help of Dr. King, Rosa Parks and many others, the "playing field" is much closer to being even than ever before. The thing I would like to see happen is that many more young African-American males embrace Dr. King's teachings. Dr. King wished for an American were people were judged by their character, not by the color of their skin. Well, my thing is, you have to have character to be judged by, right. The "hip hop" culture has to be one of the worst things to happen to this society. It embraces all the things that are perceived as "negative" characteristics - sloppy dress, uneducated, rudeness, drugs, alcohol and others. But, for those young African-Americans, male and female, that stay the course, go to school and do the things that our culture embraces positively, the future is just as promising as any other person in today's US. Well, that is my take on it.

Some times I think that African-Americans feel that all white folks have an advantage of some sort just by being white. This may be true to some degree and at some subconscious level, but I for one had to work my a-- off to get through school. My family was not wealthy and I qualified for many of the same loans that African-Americans have access to. If I had an advantage, it was due to the support of my family and the fact that I never really considered NOT going to college as an option. Truth be told, I went on for my Masters and Ph.D. because I didn't want to face the "real world" until I absolutely had too! No one ever handed me anything just because I was white! However, I know that many white folks treat non-whites differently and with less respect just because of skin color, so African-Americans have to deal with much more than 'whitey' on a day to day basis. So far, my daughter has been spared much of what many "mixed" children go through, many times having to take crap from both sides!

Like Dr. King, Dr. Gearheart prays for a day when our society does not measure the worth of other simply based on the amount of pigmentation in their skin. I really think God made us so different physically to see how we deal with it. I think racism and prejudice are sins and that God would not want those traits in heaven!

Anyway, time to get ready for lab.

Good day

New Trimester

My schedule this term is much different than last, but I am getting used to it. I have back to back 1.5 hour lectures on Wed and Fri and a 3 hr Thursday nite lecture. Mix in 2 2 hr labs (T, R) and it gets kind of hectic. Good thing is I have most all the slides ready for lecture. I am making new presentations for APII lab,since I didn't teach it last term. THEN, on Wednesday and Monday nite, beginning on Jan 18th (my 50th Birthday), I am teaching a 6:30 pm class at Southwest Tennessee Com. College! The money will be good, but I will be good and tired by Friday afternoons. I don't have any day classes on Monday, so I can use that day to recuperate and get ready for each new week!

Why can't this country deal with the concept of ABORTIONS? Every new judge means more ABORTION crap! Abortions are here to stay in our society. Making them illegal won't stop them, it will just lead to more jail time and more deaths and serious injuries do to illegal abortions being done by unqualified people. If it is ever made illegal, any idiot off the street can set up shop and pawn himself off as a doctor and get cash for abortions! This Nation needs to grow up and move on. There are many more problems we need to deal with. The same person that so adamantly opposes abortion will blow up a clinic and kill innocent folks! How does that work? Murder = OK; Abortions = No No? The fact of the matter is, not every pregnancy needs to go full term. Many, many unwanted children are brought into an already overcrowded world and passed around or pawned off on relatives or, even worse, the government to be cared for! Why not let a female terminate a pregancy in peace if they so choose? What the hell business is it of anyone else?

Oops, got a bit excited there. I don't know who will follow GW into the white house, but the poor soul is going to have a HUGE mess to clean up. GW's dirty little war, his destruction of the environment, his mounting up a monumental national debt that might never be balances again... heck, the next prez will be almost destined to fail simply because it could take decades to recover from this idiot Bush! The very first time I heard the man speak publicly, I new he was and idiot and not smart enough to run a baseball team, much less lead the free world!

Ok, enough of GW. I guess I will get back to work now. Oh yeah, my team, the UK Wildcats absolutely suck this season, so much of my joy in life is gone until the NCAA tourny is over... UK fans look forward to watching our team dominate the SEC and get deep into the Big Dance, but not this year! I guess I will cheer for the U of Memphis Tigers, who are ranked #5 and look really good so far! And, their colors are almost identical to UK!

Good day.

Nevis, the end of the story

It's ironic, that I kind of miss Nevis now. I couldn't wait to get off that rock, but now wouldn't mind returning. It is a conundrum, but I guess the feeling of being trapped there is one I might never get over, but it isn't all that bad a place to live. When I win the lottery, I will buy a house there and live there most of the year! On with the tale... when it was time for me to return to Nevis for the fall term, I got back on Friday after the semester had begun.. I no longer had the samurai, so I began having to depend on Sirhan to pick me up each morning for a ride, either that or walk down to get on a bus... I got a new office mate, a total jerk that just didn't suit me and my personality well.. so my office refuge had been screwed up and I really didn't want to be stuck with him... somewhere during the first few days or so back, I just hit the wall... got tired of having to get rides to and from MUA... got fed up with Dr. Jerk, my office mate.. got tired of being away from my family... got tired of having to worry about money... somewhere or at some point I just had it with Nevis and decided to go home to be with my family and fend for a job.... I had to borrow the money for a ticket from my brother.. made the arrangements, notified MUA I had to leave and BAM... it was over! I had Jamie drop me off at the dock that morning for my ferry ride, .. as the boat pulled away from the dock it began to rain over near Pinneys beach or someplace and the sun struck the rain and I saw a beautiful rainbow and I knew that was a sign that I needed to get home! My stay in St. Kitts for my early morning flight was wonderful.. a huge room.. a good meal and a good nights sleep in AC! The plane flight to San Juan was on time... my luggage was the FIRST off the plane and I headed to New York! Even in the Big Apple, my luggage came off together and early.. I easily found a bus to Kennedy for my flight.. was in plenty of time.. things were just great! Funny thing happened when I got to Kennedy... I stopped at a place to get a slice of NY pizza and ordered a bottle of Bud.. the lady gave me the Bud and I asked her if she could please open it? She looked at me funny and I then realized that I was not on Nevis anymore, that bottles in the US came with screw of lids! I felt so weird when that happened, but in a good way. I stopped next to get a USA Today paper... to relish in one of life's simple pleasures.. READING A NEWSPAPER! It had gone up to 75 cents and I had to pass off two Nevis dimes to make the .75 and I rushed out hoping the clerk wouldn't notice I had given her two worthless EC coins!

Well, got home on time and climbed into my truck and drove.... smooth roads... smooth riding Ford Ranger... felt AWESOME to be able to go straight and not in a circle or up a mountain.... Started sending out application packets for a full time position and delivered USA Today newspapers to pay bills... my wife worked and we made it until I got 4 interview offers within a week... got two job offers from those and came to Memphis to resume my academic career. I even got appointed as a full professor with a fairly decent salary.... so, life is good, even though I still think of Nevis every now and then... I want to take my family there for vacation and maybe with some of the money I get from my Mom's meager estate, I might just do it! So long Nevis, till next time!

Good day

Nevis, the rest of the story

My trimester is quite a bit different this term. I have all afternoon and evening classes and no Saturday. At least Friday can return to a big ol' TGIF! I picked up a nite class at SW Tennessee Com. College on Mon-Wed, so I will be missing Lost and Two 1/2 Men, shows I enjoy watching most of the time. Oh well, life is a b...

Nevis wasn't all bad. Once I settled in to the house, got transportation under me and learned where best to shop for groceries, beer, rum, vodka etc, I felt much better. Still, the heat, bugs and homesickness never went away and I always had this level of underlying discomfort there. Once I made it to my AC'd office and the Web, I got the most comfortable I could there. The food in the MUA cafe was decent enough and I could afford to eat lunch most days... Particularly Pizza Friday! My classes were good and I was learning to use powerpoint as I went, which turned out to be a huge asset in my current position. I rely on it tremendously to deliver my message. I recall the first time I drove the samurai from Sylvia's to Charlestown... it was dark and raining and I had never driven from the wrong side of a vehicle on the wrong side of the road before! I was a nervous wreck, but I didn't wreck or hit a chicken, goat, cow, monkey or person, so I felt great when I finally got to my room! A few mornings after that, I actually PASSED A CAR on Nevis on one of the 2 or 3 places that I know of long enough and straight enough to pass a car there! Driving on Nevis is an experience... the buses (vans) driven like Indy cars by the young Nevisians... the herds of goats or the lone goat apt to cut out into the road... the potholes to avoid... the drainage ditches across the roads for rain runoff from Mt. Nevis! WOW, I forgot to slow for one of those early on and my head hit the roof of the jeep and I thought the jeep was going to fall apart! Didn't do that anymore. I finally got comfortable enough on the roads and learned to watch out for the buses on curves. I actually found a few side roads to explore and saw some huge monkeys on one of my sojourns up Mt Nevis. I went around the island a couple times just to be going somewhere. Oh yeah, the little bars beside the roads to get CARIBs! Found some of my favorites and always kept 5 or 6 EC in my pocket to quench my thirst. Apparently, even though roads are curvy, narrow and bumpy, it isn't illegal to drink and drive on Nevis! Yeah! Maybe the best thing about he whole island! I learned what kinds of the locals juices worked best with Rum and Vodka, but when I could, I splurged and got a 2 liter diet Pepsi or Coke for 8.95 EC to go with my rum or a 6.95 bottle of diet cran-apple to go with my Vodka! I thought that with all the sweating I did and walking most afternoons I should lose weight, but I guess the high carb diet, with a lot of bread, made me gain weight! Oh yeah, my first couple weeks there I developed a gouty big toe and could hardly walk for several days. It was cool begin able to teach class in shorts, sandal's and a T shirt! I managed to get to the beach a few times, but the sand was too damned hot. The water was absolutely beautifully there, so clear and clean, so once I made it into the ocean, all was good. I used to like laying out to work on my tan, but it was so hot during my time there that I gave it up. I understand now that I was on Nevis during the hottest time and that winter time in the US is the best weather on Nevis. Overall, I am glad I had the experience of MUA and Nevis. I had time to reflect on me and what I really wanted out of life. I had time to eradicate some evil spirits that had taken me over during my early to mid 40's and I finally understood the importance of God, family and friends in my life. So, many ways, Nevis was a good and much needed experience for me. The time at MUA looked good on my CV and mostly likely was an influence in me getting a professorship at a college of health sciences. The isolation and the need to turn to others for help made me better understand myself and the importance of my family. I now know that God lead me to Nevis for a reason. My career is back on solid ground. My wife and I are building a stronger marriage and my daughter is much happier here in Memphis. The lone downsides are the loss of my mother and the distance I am away from my Son, who is turning into a wonderful, intelligent young man now.

I thought I would wrap up today, but I think one more episode is needed for me to describe my last days on Nevis and my trip home.

Good day

Nevis Experience, cont.

Jan 4, 2006 and it will be 65 in Memphis TN today! I don't really miss winter, but it just feels odd for the weather to be so nice in January.

Last episode, I had gotten settled into life on Nevis and made a couple of friends that helped me through the transition. I just never really felt comfortable on Nevis. The heat and mosquito's and ants.. oh my! The house I stayed in had no windows and many holes in the screens, so I fought mosquito's constantly while there. Without AC, I began the mornings hot and went to bed hot.. the few fans I had at least made it bearable. Of course, the ants were a bother, but didn't bite me or make much noise, so I left them mostly alone. Early on during my time there, I knew something was bothering me about Nevis, other than the heat and bugs, but just couldn't place it... then, I realized that the thing was the poverty and poor housing etc... this was just like the poverty and ignorance of my childhood in Eastern Kentucky, on in "paradise". The chickens in the streets, shanties thrown up anywhere to provide shelter for the poor, trash and junk lying in weeds near the school, men taking a piss by the roadside,.... all this and more was the reason I felt so uneasy there, these were the same things I disliked about Eastern Kentucky and still do! Also, I never felt comfortable there because I knew I had a wife and daughter in the states and if anything were to happen, I was helpless to get to them. I always felt trapped on Nevis, in part I suppose do to my own claustrophobic tendencies, but also because I had spent my entire life able to hope in a car and go most anywhere I wanted. On Nevis, I could just go in a circle for 30 minutes or so... but, I had to survive and I did. One of the traits that is most useful in a human being is adaptability and those that adapt the easiest to a changed environment tend to fair better. The lone saving grace for me was my office and my job... I had a nice AC'd office with Internet access and teaching API and II is very therapeutic for me. I slowly but surely became a bit more comfortable there and my wife stayed in contact with me, so that I at least could feel attached to my family. Not getting any loans, I had to survive on the 1800/mo stipend (USD), so I was always counting, planning and plotting to be able to pays bills on Nevis, eat, by gas and still send money home to my family. Now, looking back, I find that I actually miss Nevis somewhat... the slow paced lifestyle, no traffic lights and just a simpler way of living that harkens to days past. Of course, I could only live there again if I made enough money to be able to fly back to the US whenever I wanted or needed. I would bring my family the next time and my daughter would love the beached and ocean. Of course, my wife doesn't do well in hot sun and with bugs, so we would have to deal with that. The best times for me, other that my work at MUA, where in the evenings when I could sit on my porch, enjoy a few Caribs or Rum and coke and watch Nevis go by. I would bring out my small fan, get a good book and sit until the sun went down and the mosquitos drove me inside (fewer mosquitos found there way through the screens). I was on Main St. leading into Charlestown, one way, so there was a lot of traffic, cars and pedestrians. I have always enjoyed people watching and this evening porch time was very relaxing for me. Also, I found a Chinese restaurant in Charlestown were the folks were very nice and the chicken/fries fairly decent. I guess it is the simple things in life that make it better after all.... a cool drink, a good book, a porch to sit on and a Chinese restaurant that reminded me of home... well, that was good for me. I enjoyed this chance to reminisce ... one last episode will detail by last few weeks there and my trip home!

Good day

Nevis Part II: The Experience(s)

Survived the holidays! Back at the office and kind of looking forward to the beginning of classes. I have 3 night classes this term, MW APII at SouthWest TN Community College and a Thursday night Patho class. Going to be a whole different feel in terms of my schedule this trimester, but I will adjust.

Back to Nevis: Yes, I felt terrible my first days (weeks) on Nevis, but I guess the time that has past has tempered those feelings and I can reflect with more objectivity now. I was alone, my son, daughter, wife and Mom hundreds of miles away and I felt trapped! No car, didn't know where to go if I had a car and no luggage (by Sunday night). I must admit, the folks there were nice. The lady that owned the house made me a tuna sandwich and brought it down along with a Coke. That was nice and needed. Later, the guy that I originally talked with to rent picked me up and took me to a local grocery (Sunshines by the Airport) to get some toiletries. I felt so alone and out of place, but knew I had to get through somehow. Around 5 or 6, a couple of MUA guys knocked on my door and said there was a dinner for MUA faculty and what time should they pick me up. Of course, I had no intention of going anywhere, but I did manage to borrow a clean shirt to wear to MUA orientation the next morning. Greg was the van driver and I guess I was lucky that he lived only a few doors down from me, so I could get on the van each morning, FRONT SEAT, and get to MUA easily enough. I found that I could walk across the goat pasture and get to the MUA dorms, replete with a store and restaurant. I found a payphone, how to make calls and discovered a local drink, Rum and Ting! I met the owner of the restaurant and made friends, just in case I ran out of money and needed a free meal or two!

While at MUA orientation on Monday, most of my luggage showed up, the other piece soon followed and I felt a lot better. By Tue afternoon, Dr. Allerton had taken a group to Charlestown to open checking accounts and I found out about Cell phones on Nevis. For a mere $99 USD, I got a Nokia phone and entered the world of pre-paid cell phones. For a mere $10 EC, I could talk almost 4 whole minutes to my family in the US! But, it helped ease some of the pain and they could call me for free! My wife ran up a huge Bellsouth bill that first month until we learned about calling cards and internet calling! The best part of my whole Nevis Experience was the people I met. Some of my students turned out to be great friends too (at least until they passed my classes). But one guy in particular made my first couple of weeks more bearable. Jamie was waiting for his family to come down, so he and I ended up have dinner together at Sylvias rather often. Another major event was when I found out I could borrow a beat up, old blue Samurai from Sirhan! Man, the feeling of being able to actually drive around again was awesome, although there weren't too many places to drive to, it felt great! And, by the end of my first week, I had found a better place to move into, and just before the end of my first month there, Jamie and helped me find a small house in Charlestown that I could "sit" rent free (just pay utilities)! The final piece of the "saving Wayne's sanity" puzzle came when Sirhan turned the rental over to me and got another jeep. Now I had wheels (ableit shoddy) and a house to myself (no AC or windows)! Turned out that Jamie was in my API class and Sirhan was in my APII class, so they turned out to be real friends that I could turn to whenever I needed. One thing about the Nevis experience that was tough on me was the fact that I had to depend on people to get by now. I had always managed to get by without actually needing anyone else, but Nevis changed that and I think that is one positive thing that came from my time there. I also realized how much I missed and loved my wife and daughter. I wanted to provide for them and protect them, but I was trapped on this island (prison?) and could only provide a little financial support. Being able to talk to them and my Mom kept me going. Being alone and having to finally face my own inner self forced me to realize the mistakes I had made, the people I had let down or hurt and how far I was from the man I wanted to be. Nevis was not paradise by any means to me, but the time I spent there allowed me to "re-program", so that when I finally escaped, I was able to put my life back on track and make a better home for my family.

Ok, the next episode will not be so deep and will include all the various impressions of Nevis that I formed while there.

Got to find some work to do now!

Good day!